So, I’ve wanted to get involved in a small group at church for a while now. But, I’m like a little kid when it comes to that kind of stuff; initially, I just get really nervous , and so I tend to stay away, especially, if I don’t have any previously established connections. Sad, I know, but hey, at least I’m not scared to call the pizza man anymore…I have made progress in my lifetime.
Thankfully, God knows this about me, and when I walked into the church last Wednesday and Krystin, whom I’ve been able to get to know through volunteering each week, said she had been thinking about me and wanted to invite me to the small group that she was involved in. I was out of excuses now, so I told her that I would love to start coming…it, for real, really did made my day.
Last night was my first time going, and, yes, I was nervous. Like I said, I’m like a little kid. It was awesome, though! I always think it’s cool when a group of “random” people can come together and share, learn, and grow together.
Last night’s lesson was essentially about esteeming what God thinks and says is true about us more than anyone else’s opinion…placing more worth and value on His “opinion” than others.
What resonated most with me, though, came at the very beginning, in the initial introduction of the lesson. The author made a statement something to the effect of, “Whenever God touches our life, the devil comes in and tries to steal that touch from us. Whether the touch was some sort of revelation, healing, blessing, encouragement, joy, etc. the devil seeks to snatch that away from us.”
STORY. OF. MY. LIFE.
Several times, especially over the past few years I have experienced God “touching” my life, and it never fails…the devil is right on the heels of that “touch”. And, unfortunately, on most occasions, I have given into his deceit and have been sent reeling in a spiral downward of defeat.
It sucks. It’s extremely frustrating. And it gets real old, real fast.
But as I was reminded last night, it is in those times when we are really forced to be dependent on God in a very real way. I think a lot of times, we as Christians assume that we live our lives dependent on God’s strength and power. But typically, those thoughts manifest in the “good” times. It’s not until the carpet’s pulled out from under our feet that we really find out in whom our strength lies.
And, obviously, for me, I have fooled myself on several occasions. That’s not to say that I have never lived truly dependent on Christ. But, I think what happens is things start going great, and I take back the reins. Actually, I don’t think, I know…I know that’s exactly what happens.
It’s very humbling to be knocked on your rear, ha. But what God intends for us to learn and grow from, the devil is hell-bent on using to beat the crap out of us, to keep us down and out…discouraged and immobilized.
And that’s exactly why we need community. “Community is the way God confronts and redeems our desire to give up,” (Pete Wilson).
___________________________________________________________________
While I was running today I heard the song “Bleeding Love” by Leona Lewis.
Ouch…hearing that song just kind of hurts.
You see, this past summer God used that song in a HUGE way to change my perspective and my heart. Ah, I had such a fire and a passion…a strength that carried me through each and every day. But the devil came in and I allowed him to steal that from me, and I was, again, sent reeling.
The ups and downs of the last almost six months have been…well, not that pretty. But God is gracious, and He is faithful. He is running after us with His arms wide open simply waiting for us to turn back around and come to Him…allow Him to come to us, really, because we’re the ones who get in the way of that.
So, today, I am again humbled and reminded of the fact that I cannot be successful with the reins in my hands, with me in control. I am not strong enough, I never have nor ever will be.
Lord, thank you for the reminder…the glimpse back to where I was compared to the reality of where I am. Forgive me for stubbornly trying to make it on my own. Give me the strength to continually give up control…daily, hourly; heck, in every moment!! And rescue me when the devil tries to creep back in and sabotage my life. I cannot do it on my own.
Take me back to…and beyond… where I was in You. Change my heart, and give me Yours.
4 things:
ReplyDelete1) You're awesome.
2) Know what's funny? I essentially said this same thing to you the night you came over... but you had to hear it more than once for it to sink in. Isn't it funny how God orchestrates our lives to speak to us when we RAELLY need to hear something?
3) When Layla was about 3 or 4 years old, she used to sing that song- "Keep eating, keep keep eating" :) So cute.
4) I'm still scared of the pizza man.