#prayforbobbyray

:) Easter 2009

For those of you who don't know, Bobby Ray is my dad...just a little term of endearment :).

And for others of you who are kind of confused, he's sick. Like really sick.

If you know my father, you know that he never quits. EVER. Even when he feels bad or not 100 percent - which is unfortunately more often than not (and he would ABSOLUTELY DIE if he knew I just said that) - he just refuses to slow down.

But the weekend before last (September 2-4), he started feeling pretty bad. Finally on Sunday, after church, he finally admitted to my mom that he thought he was getting sick, maybe coming down with the flu. That afternoon, he went to bed.

He hasn't been up much since.

By Wednesday, he was finally willing to go to the doctor. He had essentially been in bed for over 48 hours straight, and was suffering from an excruciating headache that would not let up, a high fever that could not be broken, body ache and stiffness, and nausea among a few other things. He had even told my mom he felt like his body had been poisoned. Unfortunately, the doctor couldn't really tell him anything and only prescribed him some amoxicillin. We knew that wasn't going to cut it.

Thursday rolled around, and he was only getting worse. Unable to sleep, he was past miserable. He finally said to my mom, "We're going to have to do something." Around 1:00 PM, my mom got him up enough to get him ready and drove him down to Vandy, to the ER.

Thankfully though, my mom had been doing a little research, trying to figure out what might be going on with him. Her conclusion: LEPTOSPIROSIS.

You're probably wondering, "What the crap is that?!"...naturally. Leptospirosis is a "rare and severe bacterial infection" that can be passed from animals to humans.

About 2 weeks prior to my dad starting to feel like death, he had to go under our house and tear out our insulation and duct work. Skunks...yes, skunks, had gotten under our house and reeked havoc. We have had skunk problems over the past couple of years, but we didn't realize how bad the damage was underneath our house. It took him 2 days -16 hours - to clean it all out, and while under there he encountered and had to clean up some pretty NASTY stuff.

We were certain my dad had leptospirosis and had gotten it from cleaning out under our house.

At the ER, they did a head scan because of some other issues he had been having, and a spinal tap to make sure he did not have meningitis (leptospirosis, if left untreated can turn into meningitis, liver failure, kidney failure, etc). Thankfully the head scan came back clear, and his spinal tap did not show that he had meningitis! So after 11 hours, 4 shots, 1 IV of antibiotics, some pain medication, and a fairly sure diagnosis of leptospirosis, Mom and Dad were able to come home.

Dad was right when he said he felt like his body had been poisoned. It had. Thankfully, he had been diagnosed and was given medicine to treat the infection. Unfortunately, this kind of illness does not just go away in a couple days.

The doctors told him that it would be 2 weeks until he would be able to really see any sort of improvement, and I'm thinking at least a couple more than that until he really starts to feel himself again. So until then, he is still in bed fighting a high fever, a horrible headache, body ache, the chills, nausea, etc. He still is unable to really sleep at night because he feels so bad. He's miserable, and it breaks my heart.

So pray. Pray that the medicine they're giving him is working. Pray for a relief from his pain, fever, and sleeplessness. Just pray for healing and wellness...that maybe it will not take as long as the doctors are saying.

He says he has never been this sick in his life, and we all hate seeing him like this.

Thank you for your prayers thus far, your words of encouragement, and just the love that you have shown and communicated to him, and to all of us. I know he, and we, appreciate it! #prayforbobbyray

Labor Day 2011

Welcome, the newest edition to the Cook Family, Kinslea Rose Cook! :)
 

Born September 5, 2011, at 2:28 PM.

7lbs 8oz and 20.5in

I could have held her all night long!

That's one proud Daddy right there!! 

I only wish I had a picture of Erin that I could share, because she was the real trooper through it all!! One INCREDIBLE mother FOR SURE!!!!

Labor Day 2011 took on a whole new meaning this year :) and we are all SO HAPPY!

Big Gulps, Huh?

"Hey guys! Big Gulps, huh? ...Well, see ya later!"

Classic line. Classic movie. (If you don't know, it's Dumb and Dumber...get on it!)

But today, I'm not talking about an ice, cold Diet Coke from 7-11. Nope. What I am talking about is PRIDE

Let me just say that, well, I struggle with pride. Gah, I even hate saying that. Case in point.

Whether it's thinking too highly of yourself or thinking too low of yourself, you're still thinking of yourself. That's pride. It's what we sometimes like to confuse as determination and a healthy strong will. It is what drives us to believe we can do it on our own, what  keeps us from accepting help, what causes us to hate to admit when we are wrong.  It feeds our need to control.
________________________________________________________________

"To fear the Lord is to hate evil. I hate pride, evil conduct, and perverse speech." (Proverbs 8:13) 

"Pride comes before destruction, an arrogant spirit before a fall." (Proverbs 16:18)

"Whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted." (Matthew 23:12)

"And He said, 'What comes out of a person is what defiles him. For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person.'" (Mark 7:20-23)

"Therefore it says, 'God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.'"  (James 4:6)

God, well, He's not too big of a fan of pride. He hates it. Abhors it. I mean, it's listed on up there with theft, murder, and adultery (I know, I know..."Sin is sin"; but still) On the other hand, though, He is a huge fan of humility.  So that's what He expects of us as His followers...to hate pride and to embrace humility.
________________________________________________________________
So back to Big Gulps.

Today...today, I gotta take a big gulp...a big swallow of my pride. I've got admit where I've been at fault, that I don't have all the answers, and that I can't do it all on my own. And, once again, let go of that furious need to control. 

I think The Fray had it right when they sang, "Sometimes that hardest thing and the right thing are the same."

Cheers.

¡Ayúdame!

¡Ayúdame!

This continued to roll through my head over and over again as I sat in the Santo Domingo airport last Tuesday morning waiting to board my plane back to the US.
 
Funny thing is, I wasn't sure what it meant. I hadn't remembered hearing it at all during the week or while waiting in the airport; so I asked a friend of mine.
 
Help me! It means, "Help me!".
 
God? Is that you? Are you trying to tell me something? God does work in mysterious ways...so I took the hint.
 
I just didn't know at the time how much I would need His help.
 
Help to try and wrap my head around everything I had seen and experienced while in the DR--the good and the bad. Help to try and readjust to life in the US and to deal with things that need to be dealt with. Help to make sense of the two in relation to each other...and everything in between.
 
It's been a week, and I'm only beginning to process everything. My new friend :) Jenny Steuber shared some wise words with me that I've been holding onto since being back, "This trip didn't fix any of us, but it did change us."  I'm not fixed, but I am forever changed. In that I find such hope.
 
 And for as long as necessary, I will cry, "¡Ayúdame!".

"I Shall Rejoice in My People"

By My Spirit, I will have the victory.
By My Spirit, I will open the eyes of the blind;
     for surely I will move, and no hand shall stop Me.
I will break through the locked gates as a flow of flaming lava.
I will not withhold My power and My glory from any seeking heart.
They who desire Me, I will surely reward: I will not fail.
I will fill every longing heart and satisfy every craving soul.
     My grace will pour out as a tumbling waterfall.
     I shall be glorified, I shall be magnified, and I will rejoice in My people
     when they yield themselves fully and freely to Me
     and cut themselves free from everything else.
Then I shall cast My love about them as a cloak,
     and I will whisper My words in their ears.

"I Shall Rejoice in My People", Come Away My Beloved

On Repeat

Standing in this valley
Broken down, all alone
I haven't seen the sun
For so many days
I'm clinging to the promise
Of a mountain top
But right now, Lord
I'd settle for some rain
For some rain

Sweep me away
By Your great love
Cover my life in Your holy flood
Let the currents of change
Come and carry away
All of my questions, my doubts and my pain
Deliver my life from this valley, I pray

There's a blessing in the valley
I cry out in faith
But my mind begins to wonder
If I'll ever see that day
I know that seasons are expected
But winter leads to spring
So I'll thank You in the middle of everything
Thank You in everything

Casting all my cares on You
Because You care for me
Lord, remove my burden
And destroy the yoke that I carry

Sweep me away
By Your great love
Cover my life in Your holy flood
There the currents of change
Come and carry away
All of my questions, my doubts, and my pain
Deliver my life from this valley, I pray
Sweep me away


Sweep Me Away, Monk and Neagle

Step Out

You look around and staring back at you

Another wave of doubt

Will it pull you under, you wonder

What if I’m overtaken, what if I never make it

What if no one’s there, will You hear my prayer

If you take that first step into the unknown

Know that He won’t let you go

So what are you waiting for

What do you have to lose

Your insecurities, they try to hold you

You know you’re made for more

So don’t be afraid to move

If faith is all it takes

Then you can walk on the water too

So get out and let your fear fall to the ground

No time to waste, don’t wait

And don’t you turn around and miss out

Everything you were made for

I know you’re not sure

So you play it safe, you try to run away

If you take that first step into the unknown

He won’t let you go

So what are you waiting for

What do you have to lose

Your insecurities, they try to hold you

You know you’re made for more

Don’t be afraid to move

If faith is all it takes

Then you can walk on the water too

Step out, even when it’s storming

Step out, even when you’re broken

Step out, even when you heart is telling you, telling you to give up

Step out, when your hope is stolen

Step out, you can’t see where you’re going

You don’t have to be afraid

So what are you waiting, what are you waiting for

Walk On the Water, Britt Nicole

Fear not, for I am with you.

Do not be dismayed, for I am your God;

I will strengthen you, I will help you;

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Isaiah 41:10

24

Tomorrow's my birthday...and no this is not a post aimed at inspiring and/or obligating people to tell me "Happy Birthday" and whatever else you say to people on such an occasion, trust me!

Anyways, tomorrow's my birthday. 24. Twenty-four. Really?

My mom came through the bank today and said, "You're going to be 24 tomorrow, can you believe it?!?"

No. I can't. I don't really want to think about it, but it's kinda difficult not to. I mean, 24 years is just shy of a quarter of a century. For real? I've been alive almost a quarter of century!!

I just had some thoughts and words written, but in an effort to not seem like a Negative Nancy, I erased them. Haha.

Instead I'll go with this:

Tomorrow I will be 24. Tomorrow begins the
first day of another year of life about which
I am completely uncertain. I don't know where
the next 365 days will take me or how they will shape me.
My only hope is that I will be stronger and better for it,
no matter what.

So here's to turning 24.

An Update on the Random

February 1st was a long time ago.

I was actually having a conversation with one of my friends the other night about how my blog has been dead for a while now. She told me that when she clicks on my page under her "My Blogs" list, it acts as if my blog does not even exist anymore!

Conclusion: I go through phases. What's new? Ha! That and the fact that I'm not a big "blog about my day-to-day" kinda blogger.

So here's to stirring up my dormant blog and trying to talk about the random and mundane in my life.

Let's see...I haven't done really done any sort of exercise in way, way too long. Probably since around the beginning of February (Besides the daily pull-ups and negatives at my brother's house...one time I did four in a row!!). I'm telling you -- phases.

Um, I'm working at Green Bank now. Love it. I love the ladies that I work with, and we have some good times which always help to cancel out the times when people get a lil crazy about their money. Trust me, you'd be surprised.

I still go to and volunteer at Cross Point. I really do ABSOLUTELY LOVE it! I have met and gotten to really know some truly AMAZING people. Definitely a huge blessing in my life.

Oh, which reminds me...I'm going on a mission trip to the Dominican Republic July 12th - 19th with CP. I'm VERY, VERY EXCITED to be able to go down there and serve and get more connected with and involved in the heart of CP. I'm way behind on my fundraising!! I only have...crap!!!!...I only have one more week to raise my money! AHHHH. That being said, give me holler if you would like to support me and our team!! Is that bad to put on here? Definitely wasn't planned. Regardless, I'm being for real. If your interested in helping to make an impact on the lives of others, let me know. (I'm not trying to sound cheesy, it is for real the truth!) You can shoot me an email to lilcook3303@aol.com or cooka@greenbankusa.com.

What else? Ah, music! Gosh, I love music. Here's how it works with me: I get some new music and I WEAR. IT. OUT. Currently, my constant tunes -- Adele, 21. She's absolutely brilliant. It just never gets old!! Other recent musical obsessions: 1) Sara Bareilles, Kaleidoscope 2) Mumford and Sons, Sigh No More 3) The Civil Wars, Barton Hollow 4) a Classic Rock mix cd 5) Pink, Greatest Hits (don't judge!). My next venture will probably be the new Foo Fighters album. I'm not gonna lie, I haven't listened to too much of their stuff. Not because I'm against them, but those who influenced my musical taste in the early years didn't have a very broad musical repertoire, ha. But I've heard it's pretty flippin awesome, so...yea.

I'm currently reading The Pelican Brief. I just finished The Firm and loved it. Thank you, John Grisham.

I mean, I think that's about it. Oh, except that I'm going to be an aunt to a baby girl in September. That's not really new news, but what is new is the fact that her name is going to be Kinslea Rose :) Isn't that presh?!!! I can't wait!!

Maybe next time I won't go for forty-five years without posting anything. We'll see.

CONGRATULATIONS

This past weekend my brother and his middle school basketball team made history!!! The 2010-2011 KDDC Mustangs became the first boys' basketball team in school history to capture a County Champs title!

AND...

My dear ol brother became the first coach to receive the Coach of the Year award!!!! HECK YES!!!!

Congratulations my bro and his boys!!! Y'all are awesome and deserved it all!!!

COACH OF THE YEAR!!

Words can’t even express how proud I am of my brother. For real!!!!

2010-2011 KDDC Mustang Basketball

Bub loves these boys as if they were his own, and they love him just the same!!

So excited!!

Those are some proud 'rents right there!! Mom cried when they made the announcement...precious :)

Bub and Rave...what a faithful supporter she is!!! You can breathe easy now, Rave...at least until football season :)

I love you to death, BUB!!! You're the best...wouldn't trade you for ANYTHING in the world!!!

Until I Am Convinced

The feet of God is the perfect place for imperfect people.

“All Ye”, Coffey Anderson
__________________________________________

...What about when you know that is supposed to be true, but you feel like it’s not possible, like you can’t be there—at the feet of God.

Like you’ve crossed the line, to the point where you can’t cross back over to get to the feet of God. Every fiber in your being wants to be there, laying it all down, letting it all go, but something inside your head is telling you, “Nope, nuh uh, sorry… not this time.”

You fight it. You scream at it. You tell it to shut up, that it’s all a bunch of lies. But it just happens to be louder. It’s like the harder you seem to fight, the less it seems to be working.

It’s kind of like when you’re in a dream, and you’re fighting off the bad dude. You think you’re throwing some serious punches, but it’s like something is taking the force and power out of your hits and you end up just punching air…or does that only happen in my dreams?

Regardless, that’s EXACTLY how I feel.

And there is nothing more defeating and debilitating.
________________________________________

If Julie Munroe has taught me anything in my life, it’s the importance of reading, memorizing, and meditating on Scripture. Because in moments like these, I don’t know that anything else can work. Not a pat on the back, a hug, an “I’m praying for you,”, or an “It’s alright, we’ve all screwed up,”…none of that. Something has to change on the inside. Something has to click, and it has to click for you.

So that’s what I’m gonna do. It’s what I have to do. Even though that same voice is telling me it’s pointless, that it’s not really going to work…that mere words aren’t going to change anything. Only punishment and exile are going to heal the hurt. I mean, I know that sounds so completely absurd, but I’m not kidding when I say that’s how my mind works.

But, NO!! Shut up!!! It IS completely absurd. It’s illogical. It makes no sense whatsoever. They're not just mere words...they are the words of God. And the rest is just a pile of freaking lies from the devil because he likes to torture us and make us feel miserable.

So shut up, devil. You have no right to tell me what to do…just go back to hell!!!
_________________________________________

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
Matthew 11:28 (ESV)

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:37-39 (ESV)

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning;great is your faithfulness. “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul,“therefore I will hope in him.”
Lamentations 3:22-24 (ESV)


Give me eyes to see more of who You are
May what I behold still my anxious heart
Take what I have known and break it all apart
For you, my God, are greater still

And no sky contains
No doubt restrains all You are
The greatness of our God
I spend my life to know and I’m far from close
To all You are
The greatness of our God

Give me grace to see beyond this moment here
To believe that there is nothing left to fear
And that You alone are high above it all
For you, my God, are greater still

And there is nothing that could ever separate us
There is nothing that could ever separate us from Your love
No life, no death
Of this I am convinced
That you, my God, are greater still

There is nothing that could ever separate us
There is nothing that could ever separate us from Your love
Of this I am convinced
That you, my God, are greater still

No words could say or song convey all You are
The greatness of our God
I spend my life to know
And I’m far from close to all You are
The greatness of our God

And no sky contains
No doubt restrains all you are
The greatness of our God
I spend my life to know and I’m far from close
To all You are
The greatness of our God

“The Greatness of Our God”, Hillsong


…until I am convinced and the lying whispers cease.

Where I Am Today

So, I’ve wanted to get involved in a small group at church for a while now. But, I’m like a little kid when it comes to that kind of stuff; initially, I just get really nervous , and so I tend to stay away, especially, if I don’t have any previously established connections. Sad, I know, but hey, at least I’m not scared to call the pizza man anymore…I have made progress in my lifetime.

Thankfully, God knows this about me, and when I walked into the church last Wednesday and Krystin, whom I’ve been able to get to know through volunteering each week, said she had been thinking about me and wanted to invite me to the small group that she was involved in. I was out of excuses now, so I told her that I would love to start coming…it, for real, really did made my day.

Last night was my first time going, and, yes, I was nervous. Like I said, I’m like a little kid. It was awesome, though! I always think it’s cool when a group of “random” people can come together and share, learn, and grow together.

Last night’s lesson was essentially about esteeming what God thinks and says is true about us more than anyone else’s opinion…placing more worth and value on His “opinion” than others.

What resonated most with me, though, came at the very beginning, in the initial introduction of the lesson. The author made a statement something to the effect of, “Whenever God touches our life, the devil comes in and tries to steal that touch from us. Whether the touch was some sort of revelation, healing, blessing, encouragement, joy, etc. the devil seeks to snatch that away from us.”

STORY. OF. MY. LIFE.

Several times, especially over the past few years I have experienced God “touching” my life, and it never fails…the devil is right on the heels of that “touch”. And, unfortunately, on most occasions, I have given into his deceit and have been sent reeling in a spiral downward of defeat.

It sucks. It’s extremely frustrating. And it gets real old, real fast.

But as I was reminded last night, it is in those times when we are really forced to be dependent on God in a very real way. I think a lot of times, we as Christians assume that we live our lives dependent on God’s strength and power. But typically, those thoughts manifest in the “good” times. It’s not until the carpet’s pulled out from under our feet that we really find out in whom our strength lies.

And, obviously, for me, I have fooled myself on several occasions. That’s not to say that I have never lived truly dependent on Christ. But, I think what happens is things start going great, and I take back the reins. Actually, I don’t think, I know…I know that’s exactly what happens.

It’s very humbling to be knocked on your rear, ha. But what God intends for us to learn and grow from, the devil is hell-bent on using to beat the crap out of us, to keep us down and out…discouraged and immobilized.

And that’s exactly why we need community. “Community is the way God confronts and redeems our desire to give up,” (Pete Wilson).
___________________________________________________________________

While I was running today I heard the song “Bleeding Love” by Leona Lewis.

Ouch…hearing that song just kind of hurts.

You see, this past summer God used that song in a HUGE way to change my perspective and my heart. Ah, I had such a fire and a passion…a strength that carried me through each and every day. But the devil came in and I allowed him to steal that from me, and I was, again, sent reeling.

The ups and downs of the last almost six months have been…well, not that pretty. But God is gracious, and He is faithful. He is running after us with His arms wide open simply waiting for us to turn back around and come to Him…allow Him to come to us, really, because we’re the ones who get in the way of that.

So, today, I am again humbled and reminded of the fact that I cannot be successful with the reins in my hands, with me in control. I am not strong enough, I never have nor ever will be.

Lord, thank you for the reminder…the glimpse back to where I was compared to the reality of where I am. Forgive me for stubbornly trying to make it on my own. Give me the strength to continually give up control…daily, hourly; heck, in every moment!! And rescue me when the devil tries to creep back in and sabotage my life. I cannot do it on my own.

Take me back to…and beyond… where I was in You. Change my heart, and give me Yours.

Tomorrow Is Here

“Tomorrow” sometimes can be the greatest enemy of today.

I’ll start that project tomorrow. I’ll call and check in on her tomorrow. I’ll start running and working out again tomorrow. I’ll quit ______ starting tomorrow.

The list could go on and on and on. And everyone’s list is different. Add them all together, and you have a seriously long list of “tomorrows”!!!

But we’re not guaranteed tomorrow (Duh, Alysha…thanks for the update…tell me something I didn’t know!).

No, but seriously, we’re not. I could take my last breath before I even finish this entry. WHOA!!!

But how many of us actually live in that reality?? Not in a negative and morbid sense, but in a “I’m gonna make the most of this” kind of way. I know I don’t.

The reality, though, is that my life -and your life- is not getting any longer, and only God knows the number of our days.

It is said, “How you live your days is how you live your life.” Whenever you’re gone (whether it’s sooner or later) and we celebrate the life you lived, what do you want your life to be characterized by? What story do you want your days to tell?

Whatever that may be…TOMORROW IS HERE.

DECIDE NOW

Am I the only one who has those days where you seemingly don’t really accomplish anything that you think or know you should? It’s just like there are all of these notions of what needs to be done running around in your head, and the second you find motivation to begin you lose it just the same. I mean, what the deuce?!?! It’s just SO very frustrating and defeating.

But my motto today, at least right now, is “Decide Now”. I’m going to decide now and move forward, motivation or not, because if I don’t, this cycle will NEVER end.

So between today and tomorrow, I WILL:

• Clean my room, closet and bathroom
• Do laundry
• Vacuum downstairs and clean the kitchen
• RUN!!!!! At least twice
• Check in on Mal
• Read some of “The Me I Want to Be”
• Pick up the Bible
• Fill out a few more job applications
• Play Scrabble (or another game) with my dear mother
• Set some goals for next week
• Drink more water
• Enjoy a Chai Tea Latte
• Spend some time in prayer for some dear friends
• NOT watch anymore TV (maybe a little of SNL :))
• NOT get on freaking Facebook

“I’m gonna make a decision. I made my decision. Decision made.”
Baby Momma

God Is Good All the Time

God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good.

Cliché, right? Yes.

But does that make it any less true? NO.

Hebrews 13:8 tells us, “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.” Our circumstances do not change who God is. Just because our the current state of life may not be what we had ever envisioned or intended, just because we might find ourselves in a deep, dark valley; just because – from our human perspective – life doesn’t seem to be “for us” right now…none of that means that God is any less of the God He has forever been.

His character is unchanging...unmoving.

He is still the very same God who spoke creation into being, who gave life to you and me, and who planned all of our days before our lives even began.
______________________________________________________________________________

These past two weeks at church we have been going through a new series entitled MORE. One point that has been driven home in my heart is that every faith journey is different. God does not choose to act the same in each individual’s life. Even so, He is still God.

In Joshua’s life, there was a situation where God asked Joshua to step out in faith and when Joshua did, God showed up instantly. Joshua stepped out into the river, and God parted the waters. Immediate results. Then there is Abraham, whom God called to be the father of many nations. He called Abraham to leave his home country and go to “a place I will show you”. Abraham didn’t know where. But he went. God didn’t tell him immediately, either. Abraham’s faith journey wasn’t cake and ice cream. There were bumps in the road (It was a rocky road, hahaha…okay, bad joke :)). There were times when Abraham tried to take back control because God hadn’t showed up how or when Abraham thought He should. But eventually God followed through with His promises, as He had intended from the beginning.

So just because God showed up in an “immediate” way in Joshua’s life, but His promises were “delayed” in Abraham’s life, does that mean that He contradicted Himself…that His character wasn’t consistent? Absolutely not!

The truth is, “God cares more about WHO we’re becoming than WHERE we’re going,” (Pete Wilson). So none of our journeys are going to look the same!

But HE is still the same. HE is still good. And HE still acts with the absolute best intentions for our lives in mind.

No matter what we think about ourselves and the circumstances of our lives, no matter what the devil whispers to us in the moments of doubt and insecurity…

God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good.

And next time you see me, and I'm fretting my life...don't hesitate to remind me!!!

CLING

There is no one higher, no one greater, no one like our God.
There is none more able, Christ our Savior, great and glorious.
There is no one higher, no one greater, no one like our God.
There is none more able, Christ our Savior, great and glorious.

"No One Higher", Steve Fee

...CLING to the truth.

"Before the mountains were born,
before you gave birth to the earth and the world,
from eternity to eternity, YOU ARE GOD."

Psalm 90:2

One Thing Remains

We learned a new song today at church, and I praise the Lord for it…it was definitely something that I needed to hear. Don’t get me wrong. I believe “worship” (in reality, worship isn’t one particular thing, but a lifestyle) in the “church” setting should be a time in which we turn our attention to Christ. The focus should be Him, not us. But, God knew I needed to be reminded of the truth of this song today.

Higher than the mountains that I face
Stronger than the power of the grave
Constant through the trial and the change
One thing remains
Yes, one thing remains

Your love never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out on me
Your love never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out on me
Your love never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out on me

Because on and on and on it goes
For it overwhelms and satisfies my soul
And I never ever have to be afraid
One thing remains
Yes, one thing remains

Your love never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out on me
Your love never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out on me
Your love never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out on me

In death, in life, I’m confident and covered by the power of Your great love
My debt is paid, there’s nothing that can separate me from Your great love

Your love never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out on me
Your love never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out on me
Your love never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out on me

So very often in my life, I operate outside of the reality of God’s great love for me. I say I know that God loves me, but my actions don’t necessarily reflect that truth.

There’s a disconnect.

The truth is that the way God loves stands in stark contrast to how we love on a human level. Where we set expectations and limitations for who and how we love, God’s love is unrestrained. It is never affected by our performance, on either end of the spectrum.

Instead, His love never fails. It never gives up. It never runs out on us. On me. My debt is paid, and there is nothing that can separate me from His great love.

God, may I continually seek to grasp the fact that You are so much more than I can even begin to imagine. Grant me grace, and allow me to adjust my perspective when I begin to view You through a human lens. Holy Spirit, remind me of who You really are and give me the strength to relentlessly hold on to the truth of Your Word. Teach me to allow my soul to be satisfied by Your love. I can't do it in and of myself.

I lost who I was somewhere along the way.
Gone is the drive, the passion, the faith.
The devil’s crept in and waged a mighty war.
The harder I fight, the higher his score.
Day after day and night after night,
The light at the end seems further from sight.
Chaos and misery has been his success.
The strength of my will, he’s put to the test.

I want to be finished, the battle be done.
My enemy defeated; again, free to run.
So, Jesus, take over. I give you my life.
Free me from this pain, this bondage, this strife.
I want to live out my life for Your glory,
Giving my all to tell of Your story.
You made me for more, for something great.
So here I am, Lord. I pray not too late.

Bowed in surrender, I ask for Your will,
But hear my cry, God: OH, SUN, STAND STILL.

Lyric of Life

Won't somebody come on in and tug at my seams?
Oh, send your armies in of robbers and thieves
To steal the state I'm in
I don't want it anymore.

"Basket Case", Sara Bareilles

Brother's Day

I am the youngest of four children, three boys and one girl. I love it though! What I love even more, though, is the age span between all of us. My parents pretty much had two sets of kiddos. My oldest two brothers, Kevin and Rob, are 41 and 39 (I think, haha). Then a few years, a long few years, later, the ‘rents had my brother Caleb (26) and myself (23). Pretty big gap, huh? I mean, it seems even bigger when you say that I was born five days before Kevin graduated from high school!! WOW.

I do believe that growing up with three boys has had a hand in shaping who I ended up becoming (i.e. the “type” of girl :)). Let’s just say that I had one Barbie growing up, one that someone gave to me as a gift…she didn’t get much, if any, attention (sorry Kay May, it was the thought that counted). Instead, I spent a lot of time playing outside…backyard football, baseball with a bunch of ghost men, 2-on-2 basketball with only 2 people, haha. You get the picture. I was beat down and beat up (mainly by Caleb), and it taught me how to fight back and stand my ground. So I guess all the bruises were worth it …it toughened my skin a little bit. And I’m proud to say that I’ve beaten Caleb in one-on-one, after which he threw a huge fit…let’s go!!!!!! (I don’t know why he was so upset…I just learned from the best.)

The point is, I ABSOLUTELY LOVE MY BROTHERS!!!!! I couldn’t ask for any better brothers. FOR REAL!!! Even though we are so far apart age wise, we are so close!! It’s the coolest thing!!

Kevin…he’s the tell-you-like-it-is/what-he-feels, family man. I love it!! I’m not gonna lie, as a little kid I used to be scared of him. I used to be afraid that I was going to get on his nerves or do something wrong. HAHA. Today, I practically live at his house half the time. The other day my aunt asked me if I got to see him and Erin much. His response, “I think I’m claiming her as a dependent this year.”

I love seeing who Kevin is continuing to become. He has a great heart! I love watching him lead his family and be the spiritual leader in his household. He is such a great father!! For real…those kids adore him. For me, he’s such an example of living out his life, simply seeking to honor Christ…in everything he does. It’s awesome!!

He’s my brother, my running partner, my pseudo father, my friend…my hero.

Rob. Oh, Rob. I just smile when I think about him. For real, he is one of the coolest people in the world!!! No lie. I don’t know that I’ve ever met anyone like him! He is GOOFY as ever, laid back, and doesn’t really care what people think about him. His heart is AMAZING. I can’t even explain it! He has such a huge heart for people; it just breaks for people who hurt. He’s a weeper. Precious. :).

I absolutely love Rob because he’s so real. I mean, I never have to act a certain way around him (not to say that I do around my other brothers). It’s just a “what you see is what you get” kinda thing. One of my favorite memories with Rob is when I was taking him to Fort Jackson in South Carolina for his CHBOLC. It was so cool. For eight hours, just me and him, driving down the road being goofy one second and the next talking about life and crying with each other.

Currently, he is a Chaplain in the US Army, and he is stationed in Mosul, Iraq…an ultimate act of selflessness. Leaving his family behind and going to serve not only our country, but his fellow soldiers. He desires to be Jesus to them, loving them and living life with them.

He’s my brother, my twin, my confidant, my advisor…my hero.

Last, but not least…Bub. We’re best friends!!! Oh gosh, I just love him to death! It took him a while to realize how cool I was, hahaha. I always tell him that when he was in high school, his friends were nicer to me than he was! He can still be mean every now and then, but I know he really loves me ;).

He’s probably a good mix of Kevin and Rob. He can be goofy, but he doesn’t like to go too overboard…that kind of stuff can annoy him. Ha. He is a hard worker who is focused and determined. He passionately pours everything he has into his work and definitely prefers to stay in the background. Like both Kevin and Rob, he’s a leader, and everyone LOVES him.

Bub is a coach and a teacher, and his kids worship him. It’s funny, because he can be so sarcastic and mean to them sometimes, but they still think he’s the best thing since sliced bread, haha. He loves his basketball boys like they were his own kids. He only desires to see them grow as people and players. He would do anything for them. Just the other day, his player’s dad was in the hospital; Caleb dropped everything and went to the hospital to be with them. There are not many guys out there like that.

He’s my brother, my best friend, my partner in crime, my favorite coach…

my hero.

So today, I am especially thankful for my three brothers and the blessing they are in my life!!!! I love them like crazy and wouldn’t trade ANYTHING in the world for them! I can’t imagine life without them.

There’s Mother’s Day and Father’s Day…why not Brother's Day?

2011

A clean slate. Another chance. Another year.

What will my story read? How will my plot unfold? What do I want my life to tell in 2011?

2010 told of rock bottom and a roller coaster of ups and downs. That’s just life, though, isn’t it? Or is it? Does 2011 have to be about blow away victories and utter defeats?

No.

CONSISTENCY. That’s what I desire. STRENGTH, PERSEVERANCE, DETERMINATION, HOPE lived out. That’s what I want to characterize this year.

Will it be perfect? HECK, no! Never is. But that’s not what it should be about. Will it be a fight? Yes. Is it a war…you could look at it that way. Every day is a battle. I’ll win some, will lose some. But every day is a new battle…another chance to make the next right decision.

That’s how I want my life to read at the end of 2011.

The story of an Alysha Cook who decided that one loss doesn’t have to mean consecutive losses. An Alysha Cook who went to battle each day, with the hope of victory. And when defeated, decided to struggle well. To pick herself up and fight again with all passion and desire to succeed. Not overwhelmed by uncertainty, insecurity, challenge and difficulty, and the fear of failing; but clinging to the sufficient grace and the resurrecting power of a God who loves her regardless of “performance”…unconditionally.

That’s what will make 2011 a “good” year. A year of victory. A year of life which I can be proud of when it comes to a close.

“Sharp rocks at the bottom?”
“Most likely.”
“Bring it on.”
(The Emperor’s New Groove)