Where I Am Today

So, I’ve wanted to get involved in a small group at church for a while now. But, I’m like a little kid when it comes to that kind of stuff; initially, I just get really nervous , and so I tend to stay away, especially, if I don’t have any previously established connections. Sad, I know, but hey, at least I’m not scared to call the pizza man anymore…I have made progress in my lifetime.

Thankfully, God knows this about me, and when I walked into the church last Wednesday and Krystin, whom I’ve been able to get to know through volunteering each week, said she had been thinking about me and wanted to invite me to the small group that she was involved in. I was out of excuses now, so I told her that I would love to start coming…it, for real, really did made my day.

Last night was my first time going, and, yes, I was nervous. Like I said, I’m like a little kid. It was awesome, though! I always think it’s cool when a group of “random” people can come together and share, learn, and grow together.

Last night’s lesson was essentially about esteeming what God thinks and says is true about us more than anyone else’s opinion…placing more worth and value on His “opinion” than others.

What resonated most with me, though, came at the very beginning, in the initial introduction of the lesson. The author made a statement something to the effect of, “Whenever God touches our life, the devil comes in and tries to steal that touch from us. Whether the touch was some sort of revelation, healing, blessing, encouragement, joy, etc. the devil seeks to snatch that away from us.”

STORY. OF. MY. LIFE.

Several times, especially over the past few years I have experienced God “touching” my life, and it never fails…the devil is right on the heels of that “touch”. And, unfortunately, on most occasions, I have given into his deceit and have been sent reeling in a spiral downward of defeat.

It sucks. It’s extremely frustrating. And it gets real old, real fast.

But as I was reminded last night, it is in those times when we are really forced to be dependent on God in a very real way. I think a lot of times, we as Christians assume that we live our lives dependent on God’s strength and power. But typically, those thoughts manifest in the “good” times. It’s not until the carpet’s pulled out from under our feet that we really find out in whom our strength lies.

And, obviously, for me, I have fooled myself on several occasions. That’s not to say that I have never lived truly dependent on Christ. But, I think what happens is things start going great, and I take back the reins. Actually, I don’t think, I know…I know that’s exactly what happens.

It’s very humbling to be knocked on your rear, ha. But what God intends for us to learn and grow from, the devil is hell-bent on using to beat the crap out of us, to keep us down and out…discouraged and immobilized.

And that’s exactly why we need community. “Community is the way God confronts and redeems our desire to give up,” (Pete Wilson).
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While I was running today I heard the song “Bleeding Love” by Leona Lewis.

Ouch…hearing that song just kind of hurts.

You see, this past summer God used that song in a HUGE way to change my perspective and my heart. Ah, I had such a fire and a passion…a strength that carried me through each and every day. But the devil came in and I allowed him to steal that from me, and I was, again, sent reeling.

The ups and downs of the last almost six months have been…well, not that pretty. But God is gracious, and He is faithful. He is running after us with His arms wide open simply waiting for us to turn back around and come to Him…allow Him to come to us, really, because we’re the ones who get in the way of that.

So, today, I am again humbled and reminded of the fact that I cannot be successful with the reins in my hands, with me in control. I am not strong enough, I never have nor ever will be.

Lord, thank you for the reminder…the glimpse back to where I was compared to the reality of where I am. Forgive me for stubbornly trying to make it on my own. Give me the strength to continually give up control…daily, hourly; heck, in every moment!! And rescue me when the devil tries to creep back in and sabotage my life. I cannot do it on my own.

Take me back to…and beyond… where I was in You. Change my heart, and give me Yours.

Tomorrow Is Here

“Tomorrow” sometimes can be the greatest enemy of today.

I’ll start that project tomorrow. I’ll call and check in on her tomorrow. I’ll start running and working out again tomorrow. I’ll quit ______ starting tomorrow.

The list could go on and on and on. And everyone’s list is different. Add them all together, and you have a seriously long list of “tomorrows”!!!

But we’re not guaranteed tomorrow (Duh, Alysha…thanks for the update…tell me something I didn’t know!).

No, but seriously, we’re not. I could take my last breath before I even finish this entry. WHOA!!!

But how many of us actually live in that reality?? Not in a negative and morbid sense, but in a “I’m gonna make the most of this” kind of way. I know I don’t.

The reality, though, is that my life -and your life- is not getting any longer, and only God knows the number of our days.

It is said, “How you live your days is how you live your life.” Whenever you’re gone (whether it’s sooner or later) and we celebrate the life you lived, what do you want your life to be characterized by? What story do you want your days to tell?

Whatever that may be…TOMORROW IS HERE.

DECIDE NOW

Am I the only one who has those days where you seemingly don’t really accomplish anything that you think or know you should? It’s just like there are all of these notions of what needs to be done running around in your head, and the second you find motivation to begin you lose it just the same. I mean, what the deuce?!?! It’s just SO very frustrating and defeating.

But my motto today, at least right now, is “Decide Now”. I’m going to decide now and move forward, motivation or not, because if I don’t, this cycle will NEVER end.

So between today and tomorrow, I WILL:

• Clean my room, closet and bathroom
• Do laundry
• Vacuum downstairs and clean the kitchen
• RUN!!!!! At least twice
• Check in on Mal
• Read some of “The Me I Want to Be”
• Pick up the Bible
• Fill out a few more job applications
• Play Scrabble (or another game) with my dear mother
• Set some goals for next week
• Drink more water
• Enjoy a Chai Tea Latte
• Spend some time in prayer for some dear friends
• NOT watch anymore TV (maybe a little of SNL :))
• NOT get on freaking Facebook

“I’m gonna make a decision. I made my decision. Decision made.”
Baby Momma

God Is Good All the Time

God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good.

Cliché, right? Yes.

But does that make it any less true? NO.

Hebrews 13:8 tells us, “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.” Our circumstances do not change who God is. Just because our the current state of life may not be what we had ever envisioned or intended, just because we might find ourselves in a deep, dark valley; just because – from our human perspective – life doesn’t seem to be “for us” right now…none of that means that God is any less of the God He has forever been.

His character is unchanging...unmoving.

He is still the very same God who spoke creation into being, who gave life to you and me, and who planned all of our days before our lives even began.
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These past two weeks at church we have been going through a new series entitled MORE. One point that has been driven home in my heart is that every faith journey is different. God does not choose to act the same in each individual’s life. Even so, He is still God.

In Joshua’s life, there was a situation where God asked Joshua to step out in faith and when Joshua did, God showed up instantly. Joshua stepped out into the river, and God parted the waters. Immediate results. Then there is Abraham, whom God called to be the father of many nations. He called Abraham to leave his home country and go to “a place I will show you”. Abraham didn’t know where. But he went. God didn’t tell him immediately, either. Abraham’s faith journey wasn’t cake and ice cream. There were bumps in the road (It was a rocky road, hahaha…okay, bad joke :)). There were times when Abraham tried to take back control because God hadn’t showed up how or when Abraham thought He should. But eventually God followed through with His promises, as He had intended from the beginning.

So just because God showed up in an “immediate” way in Joshua’s life, but His promises were “delayed” in Abraham’s life, does that mean that He contradicted Himself…that His character wasn’t consistent? Absolutely not!

The truth is, “God cares more about WHO we’re becoming than WHERE we’re going,” (Pete Wilson). So none of our journeys are going to look the same!

But HE is still the same. HE is still good. And HE still acts with the absolute best intentions for our lives in mind.

No matter what we think about ourselves and the circumstances of our lives, no matter what the devil whispers to us in the moments of doubt and insecurity…

God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good.

And next time you see me, and I'm fretting my life...don't hesitate to remind me!!!

CLING

There is no one higher, no one greater, no one like our God.
There is none more able, Christ our Savior, great and glorious.
There is no one higher, no one greater, no one like our God.
There is none more able, Christ our Savior, great and glorious.

"No One Higher", Steve Fee

...CLING to the truth.

"Before the mountains were born,
before you gave birth to the earth and the world,
from eternity to eternity, YOU ARE GOD."

Psalm 90:2

One Thing Remains

We learned a new song today at church, and I praise the Lord for it…it was definitely something that I needed to hear. Don’t get me wrong. I believe “worship” (in reality, worship isn’t one particular thing, but a lifestyle) in the “church” setting should be a time in which we turn our attention to Christ. The focus should be Him, not us. But, God knew I needed to be reminded of the truth of this song today.

Higher than the mountains that I face
Stronger than the power of the grave
Constant through the trial and the change
One thing remains
Yes, one thing remains

Your love never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out on me
Your love never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out on me
Your love never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out on me

Because on and on and on it goes
For it overwhelms and satisfies my soul
And I never ever have to be afraid
One thing remains
Yes, one thing remains

Your love never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out on me
Your love never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out on me
Your love never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out on me

In death, in life, I’m confident and covered by the power of Your great love
My debt is paid, there’s nothing that can separate me from Your great love

Your love never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out on me
Your love never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out on me
Your love never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out on me

So very often in my life, I operate outside of the reality of God’s great love for me. I say I know that God loves me, but my actions don’t necessarily reflect that truth.

There’s a disconnect.

The truth is that the way God loves stands in stark contrast to how we love on a human level. Where we set expectations and limitations for who and how we love, God’s love is unrestrained. It is never affected by our performance, on either end of the spectrum.

Instead, His love never fails. It never gives up. It never runs out on us. On me. My debt is paid, and there is nothing that can separate me from His great love.

God, may I continually seek to grasp the fact that You are so much more than I can even begin to imagine. Grant me grace, and allow me to adjust my perspective when I begin to view You through a human lens. Holy Spirit, remind me of who You really are and give me the strength to relentlessly hold on to the truth of Your Word. Teach me to allow my soul to be satisfied by Your love. I can't do it in and of myself.

I lost who I was somewhere along the way.
Gone is the drive, the passion, the faith.
The devil’s crept in and waged a mighty war.
The harder I fight, the higher his score.
Day after day and night after night,
The light at the end seems further from sight.
Chaos and misery has been his success.
The strength of my will, he’s put to the test.

I want to be finished, the battle be done.
My enemy defeated; again, free to run.
So, Jesus, take over. I give you my life.
Free me from this pain, this bondage, this strife.
I want to live out my life for Your glory,
Giving my all to tell of Your story.
You made me for more, for something great.
So here I am, Lord. I pray not too late.

Bowed in surrender, I ask for Your will,
But hear my cry, God: OH, SUN, STAND STILL.

Lyric of Life

Won't somebody come on in and tug at my seams?
Oh, send your armies in of robbers and thieves
To steal the state I'm in
I don't want it anymore.

"Basket Case", Sara Bareilles

Brother's Day

I am the youngest of four children, three boys and one girl. I love it though! What I love even more, though, is the age span between all of us. My parents pretty much had two sets of kiddos. My oldest two brothers, Kevin and Rob, are 41 and 39 (I think, haha). Then a few years, a long few years, later, the ‘rents had my brother Caleb (26) and myself (23). Pretty big gap, huh? I mean, it seems even bigger when you say that I was born five days before Kevin graduated from high school!! WOW.

I do believe that growing up with three boys has had a hand in shaping who I ended up becoming (i.e. the “type” of girl :)). Let’s just say that I had one Barbie growing up, one that someone gave to me as a gift…she didn’t get much, if any, attention (sorry Kay May, it was the thought that counted). Instead, I spent a lot of time playing outside…backyard football, baseball with a bunch of ghost men, 2-on-2 basketball with only 2 people, haha. You get the picture. I was beat down and beat up (mainly by Caleb), and it taught me how to fight back and stand my ground. So I guess all the bruises were worth it …it toughened my skin a little bit. And I’m proud to say that I’ve beaten Caleb in one-on-one, after which he threw a huge fit…let’s go!!!!!! (I don’t know why he was so upset…I just learned from the best.)

The point is, I ABSOLUTELY LOVE MY BROTHERS!!!!! I couldn’t ask for any better brothers. FOR REAL!!! Even though we are so far apart age wise, we are so close!! It’s the coolest thing!!

Kevin…he’s the tell-you-like-it-is/what-he-feels, family man. I love it!! I’m not gonna lie, as a little kid I used to be scared of him. I used to be afraid that I was going to get on his nerves or do something wrong. HAHA. Today, I practically live at his house half the time. The other day my aunt asked me if I got to see him and Erin much. His response, “I think I’m claiming her as a dependent this year.”

I love seeing who Kevin is continuing to become. He has a great heart! I love watching him lead his family and be the spiritual leader in his household. He is such a great father!! For real…those kids adore him. For me, he’s such an example of living out his life, simply seeking to honor Christ…in everything he does. It’s awesome!!

He’s my brother, my running partner, my pseudo father, my friend…my hero.

Rob. Oh, Rob. I just smile when I think about him. For real, he is one of the coolest people in the world!!! No lie. I don’t know that I’ve ever met anyone like him! He is GOOFY as ever, laid back, and doesn’t really care what people think about him. His heart is AMAZING. I can’t even explain it! He has such a huge heart for people; it just breaks for people who hurt. He’s a weeper. Precious. :).

I absolutely love Rob because he’s so real. I mean, I never have to act a certain way around him (not to say that I do around my other brothers). It’s just a “what you see is what you get” kinda thing. One of my favorite memories with Rob is when I was taking him to Fort Jackson in South Carolina for his CHBOLC. It was so cool. For eight hours, just me and him, driving down the road being goofy one second and the next talking about life and crying with each other.

Currently, he is a Chaplain in the US Army, and he is stationed in Mosul, Iraq…an ultimate act of selflessness. Leaving his family behind and going to serve not only our country, but his fellow soldiers. He desires to be Jesus to them, loving them and living life with them.

He’s my brother, my twin, my confidant, my advisor…my hero.

Last, but not least…Bub. We’re best friends!!! Oh gosh, I just love him to death! It took him a while to realize how cool I was, hahaha. I always tell him that when he was in high school, his friends were nicer to me than he was! He can still be mean every now and then, but I know he really loves me ;).

He’s probably a good mix of Kevin and Rob. He can be goofy, but he doesn’t like to go too overboard…that kind of stuff can annoy him. Ha. He is a hard worker who is focused and determined. He passionately pours everything he has into his work and definitely prefers to stay in the background. Like both Kevin and Rob, he’s a leader, and everyone LOVES him.

Bub is a coach and a teacher, and his kids worship him. It’s funny, because he can be so sarcastic and mean to them sometimes, but they still think he’s the best thing since sliced bread, haha. He loves his basketball boys like they were his own kids. He only desires to see them grow as people and players. He would do anything for them. Just the other day, his player’s dad was in the hospital; Caleb dropped everything and went to the hospital to be with them. There are not many guys out there like that.

He’s my brother, my best friend, my partner in crime, my favorite coach…

my hero.

So today, I am especially thankful for my three brothers and the blessing they are in my life!!!! I love them like crazy and wouldn’t trade ANYTHING in the world for them! I can’t imagine life without them.

There’s Mother’s Day and Father’s Day…why not Brother's Day?

2011

A clean slate. Another chance. Another year.

What will my story read? How will my plot unfold? What do I want my life to tell in 2011?

2010 told of rock bottom and a roller coaster of ups and downs. That’s just life, though, isn’t it? Or is it? Does 2011 have to be about blow away victories and utter defeats?

No.

CONSISTENCY. That’s what I desire. STRENGTH, PERSEVERANCE, DETERMINATION, HOPE lived out. That’s what I want to characterize this year.

Will it be perfect? HECK, no! Never is. But that’s not what it should be about. Will it be a fight? Yes. Is it a war…you could look at it that way. Every day is a battle. I’ll win some, will lose some. But every day is a new battle…another chance to make the next right decision.

That’s how I want my life to read at the end of 2011.

The story of an Alysha Cook who decided that one loss doesn’t have to mean consecutive losses. An Alysha Cook who went to battle each day, with the hope of victory. And when defeated, decided to struggle well. To pick herself up and fight again with all passion and desire to succeed. Not overwhelmed by uncertainty, insecurity, challenge and difficulty, and the fear of failing; but clinging to the sufficient grace and the resurrecting power of a God who loves her regardless of “performance”…unconditionally.

That’s what will make 2011 a “good” year. A year of victory. A year of life which I can be proud of when it comes to a close.

“Sharp rocks at the bottom?”
“Most likely.”
“Bring it on.”
(The Emperor’s New Groove)